My Psychological Disorders
My psychological disorders started in nineteen seventy two when I read a pornographic book. He put his penis into her vagina and she inserted her finger into his anus; this was supposed to enhance his pleasure. Thereafter, whenever I masturbated I put my left hand finger into my anus. One day I thought let’s put the Super-size Colgate toothpaste tube in. It was metal in those days. I made the crimp round and inserted it while masturbating. I heard someone coming. I quickly put up my pants which were tight while the tube was in my anus and walked hundred yards to the toilet. When I took it out, it had little blood but a little flesh. I knew I was seriously injured. The final school leaving exams were going on and I decided to go to the doctor after completing the minimum number of examination papers. This decision probably saved my life. I went to the chemist and bought one hundred tablets of penicillin V. I did not exercise and walked slowly. The penicillin broke the back of any infection. Finally I went to the doctor and he referred me to a specialist. On examination the specialist said there was nothing to worry. He told me that I could Exercise and to stop the penicillin. , After exams I played a game of badminton and there was excruciating pain the next day as I woke up. I was walking with a limp. I left school a little early. MY cousin Aarti was getting married and I had a meal of oily food. There was indigestion. . After that I avoided exercise and was generally all right. I played a game of golf and was sick the next day. I decided not to exercise. The next disorder came in January nineteen seventy four when my uncle’s dog licked an erection early in the morning while I was half awake. I was in a very bad mood and was also eighteen years old. Defects developed in my behavior and everyone was complaining. The third disorder took place in October nineteen seventy four when I had very strong old Tabasco chili sauce. There were psychosexual changes and depression. The family doctor treated me, but failed and referred me to Dr Jaswant Singh a psychiatrist. He examined me and said I required treatment. I was put on chlorpromazine and eskazine initially and then despoil. I was also given six ECTs. Initially the medicine made me sleepy as I had stopped smoking. THE MEDICINE WAS GRADUALLY LOWERED TO Half tablet eskazine twice a day. I was sleeping sixteen hours a day. I used to get up at eleven thirty, have my breakfast and go back to sleep immediately. I then woke up at two thirty three when I had a bath and high tea. I then went for a walk and after dinner read Newsweek magazine to which I was a subscriber. I went to sleep at eleven thirty twelve. I recovered with contentment by nineteen seventy seven. In between in nineteen seventy six there was a setback as an airline stewardess stayed with us. She did not have a good influence on me, saying I should accompany her to Kuwait where I would be given a Job at a hotel. I was opposed to the Idea from the start. Being a scholarly person I was revolted to that life. Besides when I got sick in nineteen seventy four I had to pull out of an economics course in Hindu College Delhi. In nineteen seventy six my father had to go to Kashmir for a golf tournament. I was thinking: how will I keep awake on my journey to Srinagar. I decided to smoke and immediately, when staying awake was a problem, sleeping became a problem. Dr Jaswant Singh repute me on Chlorpromazine in addition to eskazine. In nineteen eighty there were twelve hour power cuts in Calcutta my father was posted. We decided to go to Darjeeling on a vacation. I was in a shop when a foreign woman and her daughter were also there. The woman said something incorrect to her daughter and I corrected her. She told me to come to her house at four the next evening. . There was a psychologist from Balliol, Oxford over there. He met me and said he would come and meet me the next day in the railway rest house. I had become a chain smoker sleeping between three and four in the morning. The foreign woman told me to be careful of the psychologist as he was a thief. Her daughter was not attending school as she was refused readmission by nuns after she had to attend the house when her mother went to attend to her drug addict brother who had met with an accident Dome, the girl had adopted the Tibetan Buddhist faith and her name was actually spelt Dolma, though she was called Doma. We got along very well and I thought of getting married to her as we had a house in Dalhousie, a Hill Station in Himachal. It was actually my mother’s family house. I did not do well in college as my mother’s family inter cropped orchard was sold and my father bought a flat in Mala Bar Hill Bombay. My father had had a terrible time at work and I felt there was no purpose in a paid job, I would write instead. My handwriting being very bad also had a bearing. Two days before leaving Darjeeling the foreign woman and I had a quarrel. I had made the mistake of telling her my sexual nature and at once got interested. . I asked Doma if I could visit them the next day, the woman interjected that it was her house and I ask her. I said I came to meet Doma and not her. After a brief fight we decided not to meet again. Then my father’s programmer was postponed by a day. He was on holiday: what right had the GM to order that he leave a day late. I had told the psychologist the woman had called him a thief and he was hungry for revenge. Less than an hour before leaving, I was with the psychologist who suggested for no apparent reason we move to the lower Maa Road. They were there. She had kept her daughter indoors till she thought we had left, but the programmer was changed. She smiled: so you decided to stay? The psychologist moved away and as he had hypnotized me, I followed him. I walked to the railway station, knowing my friend would be deeply hurt. It was too late. Why had the general Manager order that we stay an extra day? The psychologist completely hypnotized me. In a letter he wrote: be of good cheer master Puri, you shall one day light such a candle in this land of Bharat that shall never be extinguished. I thought that I was the most intelligent person in the world. We went back to Calcutta, again the twelve hour power cuts. I decided against the wishes of my family to join my uncle and aunt in Dalhousie. It would have been all right but my cousin Geeti said she wanted to go too. My programmer was delayed slightly and I decided to spend my time with my cousin Arti. Her husband drank from six in the evening to six in the morning. I slept at six with a lorazepam. He played a lot of music. I decided to ask my school friend for a place. I was given an AC room in the Steel Authority of India rest house. I accompanied my cousin to Dalhousie. She told me to grow a beard. Muslims in India Grow beards, I did not know. Then she said: your beard is looking very nice. I cracked a joke at night which did not go well with my uncle: he told my aunt: I can’t sleep. She told me uncle had come to Dalhousie to get well and I should keep regular hours. I had to leave much at the regret of my Uncle. I told my cousin Geeti: I will be cutting off my beard before leaving: She said ‘Keep it. Things were very difficult for me with the beard. Everyone in the train was getting at me. I reached Calcutta and though my mother was all right my sister kept insisting I cut off my beard. Geeti had told me that it looked nice: it did not look at all nice. As my sister was troubling me I decided on another trip to Darjeeling. My father had been posted to Guwahati and he told me to come there where he had an air-conditioned room. I went flying. That night my father was drinking Gin. We had a big fight and I demanded to be sent to Darjeeling. I knew he would never agree and on the sixth of August nineteen eighty I walked out. I was fed up of trains and decided to try and get to Siliguri by bus. It isn’t possible. With difficulty I crossed into Bengal. I was drifting into insanity: Kaalee ek cheez boltee hai, doosree cheez kartee hai, bache ko peechhe se maartee hai. I asked the policeman at the Bengal border for an air-conditioned rest house. He said they were expensive. I told him I had a watch for eight hundred rupees and three hundred rupees on me. He asked me my name: I gave psychologist friends name. It was a foreigner’s name. He asked me to accompany him to the police station. I spent twenty days in Tufanganj Sub Jail. The food was full of pesticides, I did not sleep a single minute, terrified of being sodomised. I was not used to the deal they served and there was a lot of flatulence. On my hearing I gave my mother’s telephone number but a journalist was interfering: ask for a newspaper he said. The magistrate said that I would only get the Amrita Bazaar Patrika, I said I never read it. He had seen my photo in the publication. I asked for medicine and Newspapers. These were agreed to provide someone agreed to pay for the paper. The journalist agreed. If I had not asked for the newspaper the prosecutor would have rung up my mother and I would have been out the next day. I took the paper with my photo to the Jail warden. It took over three days. No telephone number was given and an address from Assam was given. My clean shaven photograph with the statement: Missing Ashwini Puri son of Yugal R Puri age 25 years he left Nalbari, Malegaon, Guwahati, Assam wearing a Kurta Pyjama chappals and spectacles. Beard one and a half months. Information about this person will be gratefully received via The Security Control, North East frontier Railway, address? I had warned Doma never to touch chilies and she trusted me absolutely. She gave her mother a very difficult time. She was finally provided a rich boyfriend in France who was on the rebound and had stated that he did not want another girl friend from France. They cohabitated first with Doma on the pill and then without it. I presume she got pregnant and is now married to her friend. The psychologist told me she was cohabitating with the pill. He never initially told me she had stopped taking the pill. I knew he was hiding something. He bumped into my father near the Am, erican Centre in New Delhi where my father had gone to return my library books and came to meet me. I was expecting a wreck but you’re fine he said. He went away. Next I bumped into him in Connaught Place, New Delhi where he had just got off an auto rickshaw but never had money to pay. He was psychic. Knew how to find me. I paid the auto fare and we had refreshments at Nirula’s. I have been diagnosed with second stage duodenum cancer he stated but as there is no pain I have declined treatment. He bumped into me again and he had just had Tibetan medicine for his cancer due to excruciating pain. There was dull pain but very bearable. I got my mother to make him mosami juice and then I told him to eat the peels. He said pains gone completely like magic. I had given him two iron rings to wear telling him not to remove them. Someone took them away as he was leaving Delhi and all hell broke loose for him. His health was fine. He went here and there and finally reached Mother Teresa’s Charity home in Calcutta where he told about his cure for cancer. There were irregularities at the orphanage. The foreign volunteers there required prostitutes and hustlers. He met a Eurasian acquaintance from Darjeeling there. The fellow had tried to catch Doma. Doma was now sixteen and intensely disliked him. My daughter is under age how dare you speak to her she said. She took him to Shillong where she rent sexual abuse on him including urinating and defecating on him after which she let him go. The Eurasian told this to the psychologist who had been very angry at his pimping. Mother Teresa had him poisoned with sedatives and motor oil twice. While unconscious he was given dozens of ECTS. Both times he awoke Mother was at his bedside. The peels you are very dangerous she said and he left the place and after more wandering reached the place where he would die and be buried: Banda. His memory was gone and he had an anorexic condition due to the motor oil. He managed part of my address and his letter reached me. I too have had ECTS (Electro convulsion therapy and knew how to settle this kind of memory loss. I reminded him about his adolescent days about Helen Wills Moody the champion of Wimbledon of the 1920s. I told him Madam Le Bocque (Doma, s mother) left for Sweden from Kathmandu in 1983. His memory returned. He remembered so much of Wimbledon but he was a nailer. He said that Moody was the champ of 1930s. That madam left in 1984. He also revealed that Doma had stopped taking birth control pills. The letter was posted and he realized his mistake that he was never to disclose that to me. He was dead within hours. There was nothing wrong with him in the autopsy report but his small intestines contained only fluids. His viscera had been preserved and the autopsy report stated that the cause of death could not be ascertained. His is spelt Peter Kooper in the autopsy report at Banda Government Hospital. He is buried there and I received a letter from his host to try and inform his next of kin. I asked for the autopsy report and he sent a photo copy through irregular short cut. It’s a very difficult to obtain document normally. I gave the report to my cousin Geeti who was on a trip to London and requested please put an obituary in any British Newspaper. She never bothered and that’s the end of it.
